egg

im getting a nervous stomach ache cause i dont wanna go to precalc fuck……..

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sailorswayze:

this is how i see every episode of breaking bad

(via itstotallykafkaesque)

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kpophqpictures:

[MAGAZINE] Miss A Suzy – Cosmopolitan Korea Magazine Issue ‘13 1033x1400

(Source: kpophqpictures, via cumawo)

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Me: I love horror games!
Me: *continues to watch hundreds of Horror Game playthroughs on youtube with the sound low and the lights on and doesn't play a single one of them.*
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my lab partner for this week is toooo adult for me he texts with perfect grammar and he says things like “I’ll shoot you an email” and I actually have to meet up with him today in person and work on a presentation due tomorrow and I’m so uncomfy

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quietdistaste:

me trying to make a successful text post

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(via kosherqueer)

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i had so many dreams stringed together last night and in one of them i kissed this random boy in my english class WHO I DONT EVEN LIKE like i beat him and his friend up literally 20 minutes before the kiss cause they said something horrible to me and the boy was shivering in a corner and I eventually felt bad so I went up to him and did the whole one arm around shoulder, half rubbing your back thing to calm him down and we kissed and I was like whaaaat the fuck and I immediately texted barbara about it and then there was this weird lucidity like ‘hmm I wonder if this is a dream’ and not like in real life ‘omg am I dreaming!!’ but very seriously considering whether or not I’m dreaming and I decided that I wasn’t dreaming mainly cause I wanted to get this kiss over with I didn’t want it to be a dream but then I went to class and my professor tried to operate on me and I was like ‘okay…I guess this is a dream….’

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solarsenpai:

siopold:

miracleyangwenli:

siopold:

the funny thing about dril posts is that they actually do have a structure to them– they hit a kind of conceptual caesura halfway through, a point where there’s no inevitable logical connection between what’s been said and what’s still to come. here, the first sentence didn’t need to result in the second, yet it’s not “lol random” either; the speaker is angry about his boss’ draconian ferret-kissing policy, and reacts in kind, and even the reference to a “screen saver” reminds us that we’re in an office. it’s a narrative progression that, despite having an internal logic, alienates its punchline from its setup. who the hell is this person?

one thing i love about @dril posts is how they all seem to take place in a universe that is somewhat like our own, but with the habitus of white middle america taken to a bizarre, absurd, but strangely logical conclusion. take this one, for instance: 

so we have our setting: a security guard protecting the american flag in the betsy ross museum, something almost archetypically american and middle class. but once again the first part, or setup, for the punchline, “fucking the flag,” careens the joke into an alien punchline that still, given the setting, makes sense. @dril’s security guard character imitates a sort-of cop-talk, the banter of a security guard, “buddy, they wont even let me fuck it”. you can imagine a similar response from a guard at any museum, but we’re talking about Fucking the American Flag, here. 

i really love @dril. 

it’s astonishing that a human being thinks of those posts. some person, someone out there whose existence we have to infer, because all we know is that those posts occur and they must be coming from somewhere. “the @dril​ tweeter” resonates as “the beowulf poet” does, except beowulf (which i’ve only read in translation, so i’m not an authority) has never made any use of the english language as baffling and sublime and somehow primally interlaced with the stuff of human consciousness as “IF THE ZOO BANS ME FOR HOLLERING AT THE ANIMALS I WILL FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL.”

This is my favorite post, I am so glad I found it again.

(Source: headofrothchild, via folkdad)

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(Source: zuol, via teenbun)

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By

tordles:

emmyc:

neilcicierega:

futuresushi:

Neil Cicierega - Unused Gravity Falls Theme

Here is what could’ve been

Gravity Falls is on Disney now and it looks amazing. They asked me to send in theme music a year ago, I sent in a couple demos, and they didn’t end up going with mine. Oh well! Here’s one of them.

I still love this!

holy SNAP this is radddd 

(Source: tramampoline, via nentindo)

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(Source: sammit-damn, via teenbun)

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i’ll hire mary to animate all the 8-bit boobs i probably want wings on them okay mary

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my bro was like ‘u don’t have to major in game design to be a game designer’ so that’s it everybody make sure you buy my first game it’ll be coming out around 2018 probably it’ll be titled Boob Punch 2018 thanks in advance

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femmewitch:

i still havent recovered from this

(Source: cosbyykidd, via getyourassbeat)